Updates from Training

Goodness! This week has been busy. RA Training has been a lot of fun though. My staff is pretty awesome. They are a lot of fun! We did sprinkler and extinguisher training today, so it was really early and really cold. Haha. Lots of fun games, movies, and sessions.

I am so happy being around Jamie. He is really nice and sweet and is always trying to make me smile. I like that about him. I'm starting to care a lot about him. Not just from a romantic standpoint, but as a person; as a friend. I feel like I could see myself with him in a relationship, but if I am wrong, and it all goes to shit, I really just want to be his friend, if nothing else.

I don't really have a lot of time, but this RA Training has been better than last year, for sure. However, I wish they would serve us better food. The Perry is getting old.

Last Day

It is the last day yesterday with the internship, and the day went by fairly fast. I spent the morning traveling all over Jackson to drop off information to grocery stores. I move up to Starkville tomorrow. Should be fun!

I was thinking just a moment ago, how detached we get from each other. Texts, Facebook Chats, AIM, and Instant Messengers. We use them regularly to talk to people, and it is so emotionless. I mean, I text a lot, no doubt. But I feel there are certain things I can text someone, but not say to them in person. I know it probably sounds weird, but it's true. I can text someone something so intimate, so personal, but not say it to their face. For fear of their facial reaction. Because you can't see what they really think in a text. Facial expressions give everything away. I could be laughing and joking with someone, but truly be upset by what they were saying. Just so they wouldn't know how I feel. I guess, I'm saying that it's easy to hide behind these messages. Especially when you have something important or devastating to tell them. That way you can opt out from seeing the sadness or shock or anger in their face. And no matter how many times they curse you or say they hate you, it never hurts as bad as if it were in person. Because when you are face-to-face, you can't hide. Everything gives you away, the way you speak, the way you stand (or sit), the way your face is, the look in your eyes.

Even on the telephone you have a little bit of you hidden. They can hear the tone of your voice, but they can't see you. Body language gives everything away. And I get why people who break up with others over the phone, in a note, or over a text are cowards. They don't give the other person the decency to talk to them face to face. And I mean, I've done that before, and I was a coward for it, but I couldn't do that to Stephen. He deserved better than that. Even though it was excrutiating in person, it was the least I could do.

Trying to cram all the music I can think of onto my mp3 player so I am prepared for move in and can be satisfied with my collection for a while. I have 8 GB of music available, and so far, I've only used half. Which is equivalent to about 700 songs. So, I need suggestions.

I Believe

Famous quote from Crash Davis in the movie Bull Durham that I like...
"Well, I believe in the soul, the c***, the p****, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days."

Hm...so it should come as no surprise by now that I decided to figure out what it is I believed in.
Here goes...

I believe a glass of wine everyday is not only good for the body, but good for the soul. I believe people are generally good at heart, they just stray. I believe in spanking children, second chances, and learning from your mistakes. I sometimes believe Jeanie C. Riley was talking about Pearl when she sang "Harper Valley PTA." I believe competitive Rock, Paper, Scissors tournaments are ridiculous and a cup of hot tea with a shot of whiskey will take care of the sniffles for you. I believe no matter how hard you try, your cooking will never taste as good as your mom's. I believe in mental health days. I believe in love. I believe everyone likes flowers, including men, but the best gifts aren't ones you buy. I believe chivalry is alive, somewhere. And I believe in kisses all over, whispering sweet nothings in your ear, and falling asleep in your lover's arms.

A bit longer, and I could list more, but I will decline. Boring you to death with my beliefs is not sometime I believe in. Haha.

I am in a lot of pain right now, so I am going to take some Ibuprofen and sleep. Good Night.

Mmm...cake.

Orange cake at that. I love ladies who bring sweets to work. We had the 4-H group in today at work, and I had to give a speech about the Beef Council. They gave me this nice polo shirt for it too. That was nice.

So, I'm really excited about this new energy drink thats available. Efusjon. I just tried it for the first time last night. I like what it has in it, none of that Taurine or Ginseng. It has Acai Berry concentrate, which many GNC stores will sell as an antioxidant or something to flush your system. And there is still a bunch of research going on about the acai berry, but apparently it has a lot of antitoxins and great qualities that could good for you. Also has a lot of Vitamins and Minerals. It's all-natural and I want to try more of it. The one I tried last night had caffeine in it, not a good idea to drink one of these before bed. They didn't make me jittery, they just kept me awake. I felt like I was tired, but I couldn't sleep. My mind was still going. So, it doesn't give you that feeling like Red Bull of Monster does.

Still figuring out the new camera and phone. I like what I'm finding out though. They both have a lot of great features, and they are really easy to use, once you figure out what the features are.

Got until Friday at work. It's bittersweet. I like working in this office, but I also am eager to see those up in Starkville. I'll see my work friends a good bit though. I'll come visit. Other than that, today hasn't been a very enlightening day. Nothing really to think about, nothing I really have on my mind. Other than whether I should go to Hancock Fabrics or Hobby Lobby for the fabric I need. Either way, it is going to be a pain because of rush hour at 5. Well, crap.

You Stay Classy

I'm glad I chose the radio station I did on Pandora this morning. I made my Frank Sinatra radio, and I love the artists and music that is coming out of it today. It's mellow but got a nice beat to it. Some of the artists heard on this station are Frank (of course), Dean Martin, Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holiday, Tony Bennett, and Harry Connick Jr. I liked the songs so much, I am currently writing a list of "Songs to Download" so I can put them on my mp3 player.

I love the swing and jazz sounds from the music, but their voices. Their voices are great. Frank Sinatra and Harry Connick Jr has such great smooth, rich voices that relax you and make you melt. Or at least me anyway. And what they sing about, their lyrics, are so nice. Most are love songs, but they are simple. Deep, emotional love songs that you could just lay, holding your significant other with. Songs you can dance to, songs that make falling in love sound so great.

Too bad men these days aren't like that. Granted, Frank Sinatra had a troubled life, but the way he sings, you would have never guessed. More men should act like men Sinatra sings about, if that makes sense. Boys I should say. I shouldn't lump all men together. But, either way, do you really see guys sing or talk or even romance women like that anymore. Sounds cheesy, and it very well may be for some, but to me, it's so sweet.

Just think about these lyrics from "Embraceable You"

Embrace me, my sweet embraceable you
Embrace me, my silk-and-lace-able you
Im in love with you, I am and verily so
But youre much too shy, unnecessarily so

I love all the many charms about you
Above all, I want my arms about you

Would a guy really say things like that? Simple, sweet, cute, but oh-so charming? Psh...I've never heard those things, and I will to venture to say many ladies haven't either.

My cousin did something really sweet for his wife. He got a man to come and serenade his wife on their anniversary, very sweet, nice songs. That says many things about him. For one, he's creative. If you can't sing, get a guy who can! (Sorry Dennis, no offense) He put time and thought into a gift, when he could have just given her a necklace or fragrance set (because we all love to be told to take a bath, don't we?) Anyway, just one example of a creative, sweet, romantic way to show how much you care and love someone. Kudos cousin!

My point is, I'd personally like to meet a guy that would do those things. Not to criticize any other guys out there, if it works for you and your lady, hey, keep doing what it is you do.

For me? I want something different. Someone different.

Gadgets and Stuff

So, in addition to my new camera, I bought a new phone last night. It is the super cool new EnV3 from LG. I got a cover for it so I can keep it for a while. Mine is maroon; hell yes I got it in Maroon. I AM a MS State student. Anyway, I'm going to take time out today to figure out how to work all of these things. Hopefully, my boss will show me how to get the best use out of my new camera. He knows a lot about cameras and has plenty of them. He buys the super expensive SLR Professional cameras. Ones that cost more than a luxury car. Yeah, and for some reason, he entrusted me with using that camera once. Needless to say, I was nervous.

Beginning to pack and get all my stuff together for the big move on Sunday. I'm always excited for a move. It's like you get to redecorate all over again. And, I am in a new building. That is exciting as well. Not that I didn't love Sessums, but Hull Hall will be a great experience for me. Plus, it is in the middle of campus, so short walks to class.

So, in other news, MS State RB Anthony Dixon was arrested on DUI charges. Of course, one of our better players has to go and do something stupid before the season even starts. But, I don't think it would be MS State football if we didn't have one of our players get in trouble. Anywho, Mullen still hasn't figured on a disciplinary action, so I guess we shall see how our season will start off.

Off to another uneventful day, hopefully this one will go by a lot faster though. It is about to storm it looks like, and I didn't bring an umbrella. Just my luck.

What? Scared? No Way

Ok, maybe a lot. Now that Sunday is getting closer, excitement is building, but so is a little fear. I'm scared to let someone in, let him get to know me. I guess I'll use a shooting analogy for how I feel. It's like pulling the trigger with your eyes closed. You aim though, you know what you want to say, and you know what you're going to tell him. But you pull not knowing what's going to happen, and hope you hit your target, you hope he likes what you have to say and that he likes you. But, you could be way off.
And it isn't a big deal, is it? It's a date. We've gotten the basics out of the way. I'm not scared about that; on a facebook profile I'm pretty normal. But it's the deeper things you get scared about. Or you are afraid said person won't like.

I don't have these creepy skeletons in my closet, I mean I've made a few mistakes, but I don't have anything super wild to reveal about myself. But I do know I have my fair share of problems, as with anyone.

Case in point of where My Carfax would come in handy.

Just thought I'd write down what's on my mind right now.

Manic Monday...no, not really

It is a rather uneventful Monday morning as it were. I would like something to do, but this is my last week, so I don't guess they will have a whole lot for me to do. So far, I have proofed an article for the Cattle Business magazine, and read some articles and such.

Oh, I bought a new camera, a 12.1 MP Canon Powershot. It is amazing. It shoots HD videos with pretty decent sound quality. Great pictures, too. I won't tell you how much it costs because, honestly, I would rather not think about it. Anyway, I bought it just in time for RA Training. I hope it will be around for a while so I can take and keep great pictures. I have a 1 GB SD card for it. Not going to be nearly enough, I know. So, I'm looking for an inexpensive SD card with the most GB I can get for the money. I want to start shooting video. Pictures are great, but I like watching videos and recording things better. You get the whole story and not just a single moment. I am going to take good care of this one, it cost too much not to.



And be careful what you ask for. I started this post about an hour ago. Just got back to it because I was carrying boxes from the back to my office. Heavy boxes. So, my Monday just got a little more busy. Ready for lunch already though. I brought something, but I think I might have to add to it, I am starving!

Home Sweet Home

Home at last. I made it back to the house in Pearl, barely. I got to my gate in Denver right as they were boarding. I didn't even have my boarding pass at the time. I had to wait in line to get my boarding pass and then get on the plane. I was about 15 minutes late getting home, but at least I got here.

So, Saturday was so much fun! I got to see a lot of family, went shopping a little, ate good food, and went to the shooting range with my cousin. I love going to the shooting range. We shot his new AR 15 that he bought as well as a .22 handgun and his Ed Brown Custom .45. Now, that .45 is a mean sucker! It would do some damage, and it had a wicked kick, too. I like handling the .22 best. It's light, not too bad to handle, and it's small. I shot pretty well too, just around the center. My cousin says I'm a good shot, so I'll take his word for it. He's been shooting a lot longer than I have.

We went over my cousin's house and got to see baby Eavane. She is adorable! She did this cute thing when I was on the computer. I was watching a video and it had music to it, so she wanted in my lap. I let her up and she started boucing to the music, laughing and cooing. It was so cute. When the video was over, I put her down, but she cried for me to pick her up again. So, I picked her up, and she yawned, and laid her head on my shoulder. It was the most heart-warming thing ever. The fact that a baby is so comfortable in your arms and is so soothed by you, they can practically fall asleep is something else. I am in no rush to become a parent, but when I do, I'll know not to take those moments for granted.

Well, one more week of work left, and then back to Starkville for RA Training. I am thoroughly excited! Meeting new RAs, getting in touch with old ones. Meeting new RDs too! Can't wait!

But, I'm mostly enthusiastic about seeing just one person really.....

Beautiful Country

I'm in Pueblo! My uncle Jake and his wife Dee came and picked me up in Denver and brought me down. It was really nice to see them. I had the pleasure of driving down to Pueblo while the sun was setting. The sun set over those mountains and it was beautiful! I could definitely live here in the summertime. Winter...not so much. I'm not a big snow person. Too cold for me.

I am staying with my Aunt Juanita, she is so nice. I spent the morning sharing old stories and chatting over breakfast. I like that. Just relaxing and talking. Just got ready, we are about to go into town and do a little shopping. Then we are going to visit my cousin Dennis and his family. They have an 18 month old girl named Eavane. I like that name for a girl.

Other family coming over to visit later on tonight. I just have today to spend with them. My flight leaves out bright and early tomorrow morning, then I am home around 2:30. It will be nice to get back. I know I will be exhausted though. Running on a few hours of sleep each night is getting a little old.

I am not looking forward to the week ahead. It is my last week of work, and then I head back to Starkville. I am excited to get back to Starkville, however, I know I will miss working. I will miss that nice paycheck too. But that is besides the point. I have a lot to accomplish this week.

I will finish my sister's grad present, pack for State, clean out my car, go on a last minute shopping for some necessities, try to get a new phone, try to see if I can budget in a last minute splurge item, like a camera/camcorder. I know. I don't need it, but I want one.

Posts to come later!

Morning.

So, I slept like the dead last night! I had gotten ill last night, I think from eating too much, and I just was exhausted. It felt nice to get a full nights rest though. I feel better.

Anyway, last day of the conference, but not the last day in CO. My Uncle Jake is picking me up around 6 tonight to take me to Pueblo, CO to see family. I am thoroughly excited.

I have meetings all day, but I think I will get the most out of these meetings because they deal with promotion and research in various topics, including nutrition and culinary arts. So, that will be exciting.

I won something at the silent auction they had. I only bid 12 dollars, but I got too pepper grinders out of the deal. I like little doodads like that.

Today isn't very interesting, I might have more as the day moves along. It's still early yet.

P.S. Can't wait till July 26th! A little over a week left, I feel like this could be the longest week ever! haha.

Gentlemen....

I love gentlemen, they are so nice. When a man rushes to catch the door for a lady, that is chivalry.

Why is it so dead? Not saying I can't hold the door for myself, but a guy that respects a lady enough to hold the door, pull out her chair, stand up at the table when she stands, etc...is a gentleman in my book. And it's like second nature to some of them. It makes me smile.

Too bad there aren't many younger guys that usually do that. I'm not saying I want a guy to do all these things all of the time, I am not that type of girl. But, I can appreciate it when he does do it.

Maybe I'm old-fashioned or traditional, but it's nice when that happens to you.

Culinary Adventure.

When I ask for adventure, I get it. I went to Rodizio's Grill last night in Denver. It was a Brazilian restaurant and it was amazing! You pay one fee and you get basically all you can eat, but instead of it being like a buffet, you get an hourglass looking trinket with one end green and one end red. When the green side is up, these servers bring you different types of meat on large skewers and they keep bringing it to you until you flip the trinket to red, meaning stop. Well, the meats are definitely different. I had elk, buffalo sausage, sirloin steak, chicken hearts, lamb, turkey wrapped in bacon, and pork tenderloin.
Did you catch that? I ATE CHICKEN HEARTS! Omg, it was good too. Different texture though, but it tasted like dark meat chicken, no lie.
The one culinary dish I did not like were the quail eggs. Gross. I am not a big egg person to begin with but these are just awful. But at least I tried it. They have a salad bar that isn't like any salad bar you've seen. Different salads and side items. Then I got a huge Brazilian chocolate cake for dessert!
The appetizers are polenta cakes and fried cinnamon bananas. It was delicious and I would definitely recommend it for the daring and experimental.

Big day today, lots of meetings and lots of mingling, shaking hands and what not. I like the people I am meeting up here though. They are extremely nice and great to talk to.

Oh, PETA is supposed to show up today, that should be a sight to see. I wonder what fanatics they are going to try today.

Oh, if you get the chance to come to Denver, do it! Go downtown and explore the 16th Street Mall and seeall of the great architecture and atmosphere.

Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop

So, here I am in Denver. I am having a lot of fun so far. I completed the Masters of Beef Advocacy program and had commencement yesterday. It lasted all day and went really well. I am meeting a lot of people from all over the country. It is nice to meet these people. Ms. Nancy and I went to dinner and I ate buffalo. Something different, but I liked it.
Then the American National CattleWomen had an Ice Cream Social last night. That went well. It was nice to meet cattlewomen from Florida and Georgia and all over.
They also had a Fun Run/Walk this morning before Breakfast.
It is nice to see so many women getting involved in the cattle industry.
Today starts the actual NCBA Summer Conference. Sammy, my boss, is supposed to be here any moment. I haven't been playing hookie by any means, but I get nervous when he is around. He is a very nice guy, but is very intimidating. I hate screwing up around him.
Anyway, I don't really have many meetings to go to today, so I am looking for something to do. As many times as I've come to Denver, I have never come downtown and looked around. I think I will try and do that a little bit today. And maybe some shopping. Maybe. Haha

So, to keep things a little bit more private, we will just refer to the following person as "New Guy." Lame, I know, but I want to keep his identity hidden for now. I don't want gossip and such to go around and people who know me to start talking; assuming things.
Anyway, he is amazing! He is super sweet and sends me messages just about eveyday telling me he hopes I have a good day and that he misses me. I know! It's so sweet to hear those from someone you haven't really ever hung out with. I went to eat with him twice this whole summer and we only knew of each other before that.
It's so weird to have this happen. Like, is this guy for real? You only see guys like this in movies, or fairy tales your mom told you when you were little.
Ok, I consider myself an optimist. Always seeing the good in people and most situations. However, Mom always said that if something seemed too good to be true, it usually is. So, my dilemma is that I can't find a thing wrong with him. He's nice, sweet, polite, funny, very good looking, athletic, articulate, smart, and social.
I feel great hearing from him. I can't wait to see him. We have a date when I see him again. Our summer jobs have kept us from going out and seeing each other, fyi.
But, he calls me, texts me, facebook messages me, etc... I can't seem to stop thinking about him. I feel like a little girl with a huge crush. Haha.
What I wonder is why me, and why now? He has met me, seen me, goes to school with me, but just now decides to talk to me and get to know me. I'm not complaining at all, but why me. He could really have his pick of just about any girl on campus or with him. Girls that are more athletic, prettier, and probably less of a mess than I can be.
I know who am, the person I am. And for once in a long time, I'm worried I'll screw things up and my thoughts will get in the way. I tend to overthink situations (which could explain this long post), but I want to take it slow with this guy. This is the kind of guy you take it easy with, fall for him long and slow. Enjoy every minute of it.
I know I have a lot to offer someone. I have an intense amount of love to give to the right person. I just haven't been on a date in a while, a long while, and I want to make sure I am making good decisions now. I want to make sure that if I fall for someone, he'll be there to catch me. I don't have a lot of trust right now, and maybe that is why I am looking for a fault in this guy, but I'm trying to convince myself to stop thinking and just enjoy it. Just see where it goes. I won't be anything but myself though. All of myself. And hope someone, maybe him, will appreciate it and be able to be happy to be with me. All of me. When I get angry, sad, happy, excited, upset, stressed out, irritated, etc.

And had you asked me a couple months ago, I would have told you that person was Stephen. But now that him and I are no longer together, I realize that I don't think Stephen was that person. He loved when I was happy and laughed at his jokes. But he didn't care to hear about my job, which I loved. He hated when I cried. Not because I was sad, just because it made him uncomfortable. This isn't a bashing session on Stephen, but I know that I wasn't perfect for him either. I couldn't take his sense of humor sometimes. I probably could lighten up a bit, but I didn't. There were beliefs and views we both stood by that neither of us wanted to let go of. And that is fine, and I am sorry I hurt him. It still hurts me sometimes too, but if he has moved on, which he has told me he has, then I don't see a future with him anymore. I was willing to leave it open, because I did love him. I do still care for him intensely, but I can't sit and linger over what he's doing, if he thinks about me, etc. Got to start moving on with my life.

Trying to get back on track with myself. Trying to figure out what it is that I want. Trying to be independent and find myself, my interests. I've been focused on someone else's interests for a long time now, and it is hard for me to start doing things solely for me. Like, I want to start working out, but confused where to start. I want to join a dance class, or go out to the shooting range. I've made a mental list of things I want to do. But I am a little nervous to start these things.
#1: Dance: Join a ballroom dance class.
#2: Shooting: My cousin took me to a shooting range, and I did pretty well. I'd like to try it again.
#3: Find a fitness program that is fun!
#4: Get motivated! I need to find what motivates me. That is really a big concern for me. There is a lot I want to try and do, but few things I have a real great pssion for (at least when it comes to hobbies and activities). I am passionate about nutrition, passionate about cooking, passionate about school, things like that, but if cooking were a hobby, I would have food for an eternity (and I just don't have that kind of money to be spending on groceries).

Please, post your thoughts on things you think I should try. I need ideas. I want adventure. I want excitement!

Later Days!

I'm Back! Not that anyone really reads this thing.

So, I am back to blogging again. Haven't in a while. I don't know why, I just have a lot of profiles and pages I keep up with. But it is nice to have this on here to scribble my thoughts. So, briefly, to catch you up, here is an update:
Relationship Status: Single. For about a month now. Moving on with my life, still need to pick up a few things from his place. Still hurts even though I am the one who ended it.
Work Status: Work for the MS Beef Council this summer, has been going well. 2 weeks left. Go to Denver today for a week, then back at the office for another week. Then RA Training!
Bank Status: Dwindling...
Personal Stuff: Going on my "find-myself/make-positive-changes/be-independent" journey. So far, is going well. Made some mistakes, but I picked myself up and moved on. Right now, I am just finishing up with the job and excited for RA Training.
Goals for Training: Make good friends with the hall staff and others. Take it one day at a time. Get organized (but that seems to be a goal that I fall short of a lot). Learn something new. Be a good mentor to residents and new RAs if need be.

So, I will keep posting on here as need be. Probably hear a lot about my Denver trip and Training.